Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She announced her abortion via fbk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
