sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
