How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
