Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
