she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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