I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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