Me too!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize