wat bout pragnant strippers??
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
