Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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