We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
