Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
