It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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