i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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