We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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