First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
