Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Mom said you looked used
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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