she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize