Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
