if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was confusing and full of hummus
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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