btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
