I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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