very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
