Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
