dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
