Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
