Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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