no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
