I don't think brook has ever known best
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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