im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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