But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
