yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
