He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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