ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
