if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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