I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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