i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize