Jerry, you need to find god
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
