i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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