Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
