So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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