Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
