Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
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