ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This house was built for laser tag.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
