We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
