people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
