nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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