Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
