i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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