how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i out mim tonsoeep
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