we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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