a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
