What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
