he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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