I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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