absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
