I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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