i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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