We're facebook friends in real life
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
